Faith and Durian

     For one of our days of ministry, we are working with a pastor and his wife who are trying to start a church in a community that is half Muslim and half Buddhist.  There are barely any Christians in the entire community.  Now, by "barely any Christians" I don't mean like a city in America that has only two churches instead of five.  I mean that he is starting a church where there aren't any Christian churches.  There are only mosques and temple houses.  I don't know how many Christians are even in the town, but considering that not even 1 percent of Thai people are Christians and considering what I've seen in the town, I would say there are close to none.  That's not a light task.

     Yet Pastor Den and his wife Boi are two of the most optimistic people I have ever met.  They have been meeting at someone's home in the community for services for about three months now and have not yet seen a huge success in the community.  Yet I have not once seen Pastor Den even look like he might be discouraged.  In fact, I've seen the exact opposite.  He is encouraging and energetic about what is happening.  He's moving forward in what he knows God desires to do in this community.

     In part of moving forward, he has been desiring to rent a building in the community in order to have services in a building of their own, instead of a home, and to start more ministries during the week for the people of the community.  He has been communicating with the owner of the building and the owner has given him a price for the building.  However, Pastor Den didn't have support from anyone.  He's not going out with the support of another church or of members of the community.  He's just going out as God has told him to.  Therefore, we have been praying for God's provision for this building for the church, and in the meantime, have been going through the community and getting to know people.

     Well, weeks had gone by with prayer for this building, but nothing had happened.  Many would've given up long before this, but Pastor Den did not.  He kept strong in what he believed God wanted from him and for this community, and that perseverance paid off.  Last week, Pastor Den told us that, from many different various people, the first month's rent has been paid for.  The church can move into the building and will be starting services there.

Tomorrow we will be meeting Pastor Den at the church to plan our English class.  Before, we didn't have a place to teach English.  However, we won't be teaching in the church building.  God has provided for us to teach English in a different place in the community.  Two weeks ago, as we were walking around the town, praying and meeting people, Ciara and I got distracted by someone selling durian in the back of their truck.  We stopped because we wanted to get some, and Pastor Den started talking to a lady who was also there buying fruit.  While we were waiting and they were talking, Pastor Den turned to us and mouthed for us to pray.  A little bit later, he tells us we are to follow him, and his wife and he got into the lady's car.  We pull up to a home and get out.  As it turns out, this lady has two houses (one in Bangkok and one in this community) and she would like us to use it for free to teach English.  She also has a daughter, so she knows a lot of kids who would be interested in learning English in the community.  She is not a Christian, but she said that her daughter used to go to a church with her teacher, and she saw a difference in her daughter, and want her to start attending the church.  She has also said we can teach whatever we want and we can talk about the Bible to the children in our class.

     Now think about these things that have happened.  They took a lot of praying and preparation to get to this point.  At first, this looked impossible.  The community is Muslim and Buddhist, there was no support for the church, and they didn't have a building or even a place to teach English.  What would've happened if Pastor Den and Boi would've decided it was too hard.  What if they would've decided that they weren't getting the results they wanted, so they didn't want to keep going?  There would be no church, and there would be no hope.

     We need to have faith like that.  We need to have faith that when God calls us to do something, that He will provide.  It may not be quite as easy as we may have hoped, but He will provide.  Now, the church only has the first month's rent paid.  They don't have any monthly support coming in as of now.  That may sound like a bad financial decision, but Pastor Den knows the calling of God.  He knows that God has called him to this place and has provided this building for this purpose.  Because of that, he won't back down.  We need to not back down on the things God has called us to do.

     If God has called us to a job, He will provide.  He will give us what we need in the strangest ways.  He didn't call us to the easy road, He called us to Him.  All we can do is have faith in Him and know He will provide.  God doesn't set us somewhere and forget us.  He calls us, guides us, and goes before us.  Watching all of this is unfold is such a privilege and is completely terrifying at the same time.  But I know God is going to provide.  And all I can do is thank God for faith and durian.

Four Weeks!

So Thailand!

     I know, I know, it's been a while.  But I'm in Thailand.  I'm here for 16 weeks (15 weeks and 6 days to be exact) and I have no idea why!  I mean, I know how I got here.  I'm here through SAGU, and I'm here for a semester abroad and to do missions.  But why I decided to come, I'm not really sure.  I guess I've just always loved going and helping.  I've always loved being in the ministry (well.. overall I've loved it).  It's something we're commanded to do, so why not just go all out?

     So I'm in Thailand now.  I've been here for four weeks, and I'm loving it!  It's hot and humid here, but you get used to it.  You get used to the communication barriers, and you get used to eating the food (actually, that's one of the best parts- can't get a good dinner in America for less than $2!).  You get used to the schedule and the classes online.  You get used to the time change and you get used to the currency change.

     What you don't get used to is the lostness of this place.  You don't get used to walking past the spirit houses.  You don't get used to realizing that most of the people in this country don't have the saving grace that you do.  You don't get used to the slums and the way that they live.  You don't get used to the way they smile, when you know there's so much hurt underneath.  You don't get used to the stories of children who grow up pressured into selling themselves for money.  You don't get used to hearing about people trying to become the opposite sex to ease their parents' disappointment of not having the gender of a child they wanted.  It's just not something you get used to.

     There's so much pain and hurt in this country.  And yet, there's a Hope that can heal all.  People are so concerned here with appearances and with the way they look outwardly.  And yet they don't understand that someone created that appearance.  And that same One who created the outside, also created the inside, and cares about both.

     There is a little girl from the slums who has captured my heart automatically.  She is the sweetest little girl, and I believe she has accepted Jesus as her Savior.  She lives in the slums with her grandmother, but walks to church every Sunday.  This Sunday she stood by me and worshipped.  It was one of the most precious things I have seen.  I desire that for the people of Thailand.  I especially desire that for the children of Thailand.  I want these people to know, as little Ging knows, that they are "beautiful in the eyes of Jesus."

     I promise, I'm going to try to keep all my posts from being quite so long and serious. :) But even if we spent every day doing fun activities and experiencing the fun times of Thailand, there is no way to forget the need here in Thailand.  Please pray that the people of Thailand will realize the unconditional love of God and understand the grace He has given us.  Only with Christ's love can this nation be changed.

Just like a child

For as long as I can remember, I have loved babies. I love being around basically all ages of children, but there's something about the "newness" of a baby that tugs at my heart every time I hold a precious young child. To be able to wonder about what they will do with their lives and how God already has a plan for their lives without thinking about all the mistakes that they made and the frustrations and limitations they put on themselves is a great feeling to me. I always wonder to myself what great things God has planned for every child, and thank God for letting me be a part of such a great story.

I think probably the best gift that my future husband will ever be able to give to me is the gift of a child. Ever since I was little, the thing I couldn't wait for was to be a mother. Now obviously, I don't want to have a child now, and I will wait for God's timing to have children, but still, the moments I am most looking forward to are the moments when I will have my own children to care for and look after and yes, even clean up after. I can't wait for God to give me the opportunity to give a child over to Him and nuture him or her in the ways of God and give them a great childhood with great examples of godly people.

I believe God's greatest desire is the same as my greatest desire. I believe the greatest gift we could give to God would be a child. I'm not talking about giving our children to Him, although that is definitely needed. I'm talking more along the lines of ourselves. We are God's children. The best thing we could do is give ourselves to Him and allow Him to have His children. I was in prayer the other day while holding a little one, and I was talking to God about how someday, in His timing, I wanted children so that I could nuture them in His ways and surrender them to Him. I think my exact thoughts were, "God I want to have children so that I can care for them." While I was praying, I just heard the Holy Spirit saying to me, "That's what I want too."

God wants to hold us and care for us. He wants to be our Daddy, and give us everything we desire. And he can do it, too. I've been away from God before, thinking that my idea was much better than anything else and that I could take care of myself. Boy, was I wrong. I need the Savior to help me and care for me. And he wants to help us and care for us. Just like a child.

Random Ramblings..

Okay, so it's been a while since I've posted... say since like last October. :) I'm still alive though, promise. :) So this is a new thing I wrote inspired partially by Amena Brown, who is like beyond awesome... It's definitely not as good as hers, but ya know...

I love you
All of you
Your hair
Your eyes
Your thoughts
Your heart
Your worship
I created it all
And I don't create things I don't love
I want you
I want your life
Your dreams
Your inspirations
Your creations
Your language
Your understanding
Your wisdom
I want them, for they are already mine
I am incapable of nothing
I can do all things
You can do all things through me
I have everything
I am everything
I hold everything in my hands
There is nothing I don't know
Including your sins
I see every part of you
I see your faults
I see what you hide from everyone else
I see your worthlessness according to the world
I see how you see no hope
No light
No way out
No escape
But I am your escape
I am your comfort
Your shelter
Your provider
Your love
Your hope is right here
Call to me
For I am

I am the creater
The life sustainer
I am the one on the holy throne
I am your provider
I am your healer and your hope
Your comfort and your shelter
I am the living water and the breath of life
I am the one you should be clinging to for the rest of your life
I am the one who made it all
I am the one who gave it all
And I love you.
I am

I am the one who stands at the door and knocks
Answer me
Let me in
For I am

The Opinion Vs. The Truth

This is just a little poem-type thing that I wrote the other day. It is not great, and I think I need to change a couple of things around, but still, I figured it is okay for a couple people to read at this point. I get a little bit frustrated by the things that people say to one another and the way that people automatically believe others with what they say. I believe high school is definitely not it. It’s definitely not where you find who you are, especially if you think that high school is all there is. I believe you are always finding out a little bit more of who God made you to be everyday. It’s a process, and we definitely have not lived long enough yet to even figure out the half of it. High school is definitely not all there is (thank goodness) and this life is not all there is. There’s so much more that God has called us to and we need to be finding that. We need to be finding the good in others, not the bad. And we need to find both the good and bad in ourselves so that we can deal with both and make ourselves better. We shouldn’t be okay with comfort and okay with being so-so. We need to be looking to better ourselves at all times so that we can be a better help to others. Alright, enough rambling, read the poem thing. :)

PS- This ridiculous blog won't let me set two columns and it doesn't look the same as it does on my edit sheet thing, but still, hopefully it makes sense. :)

The Opinion.................................Vs......................The Truth

You’re done......................................................You’re just starting
You’re not worth it..........................................You’re worth everything
You’re used.................................................I’m using you for the glory of Me
You’re dirt........................................................You’re my creation
You’re diseased................................................You’re healed
You’re unacceptable........................................You’re exceptional
You’re the same as the others.......................You’re extraordinary
You’re only special for one night....................You’re special for eternity
You’re alone......................................................You’re with me
You’re stained with sin....................................You’re stained with my blood
You’re a mistake...............................................I don’t make mistakes
You’re a regret..................................................I don’t regret anything
You’re not talented enough.............................I gave you talents
You’re not smart enough.................................I gave you wisdom
You can’t win.....................................................You can’t lose me
You can’t succeed..............................................I won’t let you fail
You can’t help....................................................You’re my light
You’re ugly.........................................................You’re so beautiful
You’re broken....................................................You’ve been made whole
You’re nothing....................................................You’re something
You’re worthless.................................................You’re MINE

I said… You’re MINE

But That's Jesus

Ok so I just found my old Bible notebook from Heritage and I found this poem that a couple of friends and I made for a project. We had to take a story from the Bible and make a poem about it. It doesn't make much sense, especially the last verse (I have no idea what I was even talking about), but it's pretty funny. Just thought you might enjoy it.

BUT THAT'S JESUS

There once was a man named Joe
He was in his tent with nowhere to go
Then he saw a man
That was very tan
Named Jesus

Jesus where are you going?
I thought you were all-knowing
Today's Sabbath day
So you can't go to play
Said Joe to Jesus

I'm going to a cave
To save the lepers from the grave
I'm going up to Galilee
Would you like to come with me?
Said Jesus

I can't go with you today
For today is the Sabbath day
I've only got five steps left, ya know
So then I just cannot go
Jesus

Okay you can stay
But I'm going away
So see you later
Alligator
Said Jesus

So Mark Peter the Zealot went too
Though Martha the scribe was blue
And to me Jesus was cool
Although he was breaking the rule
But that's Jesus

Prayer

Today was See You At The Pole for schools all over America. Last year, at my school, we had SYATP, but I was almost disappointed by how it ended up. It was led mainly by adults, and there were only about 5-10 people there from what I remember. Today, we started at 8:30 and I got there about right on time. Honestly, I was expecting a couple of kids to come, and the adults would do everything again. I wasn't expecting the next thing I saw. I stood there at the flagpole as I saw students begin pouring out of the school doors, ready for SYATP. It wasn't close to our whole school, or even half of our school, but the fact that so many kids (probably 30 or so) were willing to get up early on their late-start day (we don't start school on Wednesdays until 9:00) and pray with others in the front of our school, where everyone can see them, is awesome to me. This definitely showed me how God is using me and others at my school to shine God's light and make a serious impact. I understand that some of these kids might have just been coming for the doughnuts and drinks, but the impact was still there.

A verse came to my head then when I saw the people coming out and when I heard people unashamed to pray earnestly in front of their classmates.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Matthew 18:20

This verse really hit me when I saw everyone there and heard their earnest prayers for our school and the people in it. There were definitely more than just two or three people there, and Christ says that even if it's just a couple of people, He is still right there in the middle of it.

My prayer for our school is simple. I pray that people would realize the need for Christ in their life and would live out a life that serves Christ and only Christ. I pray for revival in our school and for a renewed sense of passion for our calling as children of God. I pray continually for wisdom for the staff and for their example to be like Christ's example. Finally, I pray that I may be continually growing in God's will for my life and for my outreach towards others.

It's pretty simple, but I believe God likes the simple. He's not going to give us tasks that are too hard for us to do. And, as I have learned lately, He's not going to give us desires that He cannot or will not fulfill. God is faithful always.