Just like a child

For as long as I can remember, I have loved babies. I love being around basically all ages of children, but there's something about the "newness" of a baby that tugs at my heart every time I hold a precious young child. To be able to wonder about what they will do with their lives and how God already has a plan for their lives without thinking about all the mistakes that they made and the frustrations and limitations they put on themselves is a great feeling to me. I always wonder to myself what great things God has planned for every child, and thank God for letting me be a part of such a great story.

I think probably the best gift that my future husband will ever be able to give to me is the gift of a child. Ever since I was little, the thing I couldn't wait for was to be a mother. Now obviously, I don't want to have a child now, and I will wait for God's timing to have children, but still, the moments I am most looking forward to are the moments when I will have my own children to care for and look after and yes, even clean up after. I can't wait for God to give me the opportunity to give a child over to Him and nuture him or her in the ways of God and give them a great childhood with great examples of godly people.

I believe God's greatest desire is the same as my greatest desire. I believe the greatest gift we could give to God would be a child. I'm not talking about giving our children to Him, although that is definitely needed. I'm talking more along the lines of ourselves. We are God's children. The best thing we could do is give ourselves to Him and allow Him to have His children. I was in prayer the other day while holding a little one, and I was talking to God about how someday, in His timing, I wanted children so that I could nuture them in His ways and surrender them to Him. I think my exact thoughts were, "God I want to have children so that I can care for them." While I was praying, I just heard the Holy Spirit saying to me, "That's what I want too."

God wants to hold us and care for us. He wants to be our Daddy, and give us everything we desire. And he can do it, too. I've been away from God before, thinking that my idea was much better than anything else and that I could take care of myself. Boy, was I wrong. I need the Savior to help me and care for me. And he wants to help us and care for us. Just like a child.

Random Ramblings..

Okay, so it's been a while since I've posted... say since like last October. :) I'm still alive though, promise. :) So this is a new thing I wrote inspired partially by Amena Brown, who is like beyond awesome... It's definitely not as good as hers, but ya know...

I love you
All of you
Your hair
Your eyes
Your thoughts
Your heart
Your worship
I created it all
And I don't create things I don't love
I want you
I want your life
Your dreams
Your inspirations
Your creations
Your language
Your understanding
Your wisdom
I want them, for they are already mine
I am incapable of nothing
I can do all things
You can do all things through me
I have everything
I am everything
I hold everything in my hands
There is nothing I don't know
Including your sins
I see every part of you
I see your faults
I see what you hide from everyone else
I see your worthlessness according to the world
I see how you see no hope
No light
No way out
No escape
But I am your escape
I am your comfort
Your shelter
Your provider
Your love
Your hope is right here
Call to me
For I am

I am the creater
The life sustainer
I am the one on the holy throne
I am your provider
I am your healer and your hope
Your comfort and your shelter
I am the living water and the breath of life
I am the one you should be clinging to for the rest of your life
I am the one who made it all
I am the one who gave it all
And I love you.
I am

I am the one who stands at the door and knocks
Answer me
Let me in
For I am

The Opinion Vs. The Truth

This is just a little poem-type thing that I wrote the other day. It is not great, and I think I need to change a couple of things around, but still, I figured it is okay for a couple people to read at this point. I get a little bit frustrated by the things that people say to one another and the way that people automatically believe others with what they say. I believe high school is definitely not it. It’s definitely not where you find who you are, especially if you think that high school is all there is. I believe you are always finding out a little bit more of who God made you to be everyday. It’s a process, and we definitely have not lived long enough yet to even figure out the half of it. High school is definitely not all there is (thank goodness) and this life is not all there is. There’s so much more that God has called us to and we need to be finding that. We need to be finding the good in others, not the bad. And we need to find both the good and bad in ourselves so that we can deal with both and make ourselves better. We shouldn’t be okay with comfort and okay with being so-so. We need to be looking to better ourselves at all times so that we can be a better help to others. Alright, enough rambling, read the poem thing. :)

PS- This ridiculous blog won't let me set two columns and it doesn't look the same as it does on my edit sheet thing, but still, hopefully it makes sense. :)

The Opinion.................................Vs......................The Truth

You’re done......................................................You’re just starting
You’re not worth it..........................................You’re worth everything
You’re used.................................................I’m using you for the glory of Me
You’re dirt........................................................You’re my creation
You’re diseased................................................You’re healed
You’re unacceptable........................................You’re exceptional
You’re the same as the others.......................You’re extraordinary
You’re only special for one night....................You’re special for eternity
You’re alone......................................................You’re with me
You’re stained with sin....................................You’re stained with my blood
You’re a mistake...............................................I don’t make mistakes
You’re a regret..................................................I don’t regret anything
You’re not talented enough.............................I gave you talents
You’re not smart enough.................................I gave you wisdom
You can’t win.....................................................You can’t lose me
You can’t succeed..............................................I won’t let you fail
You can’t help....................................................You’re my light
You’re ugly.........................................................You’re so beautiful
You’re broken....................................................You’ve been made whole
You’re nothing....................................................You’re something
You’re worthless.................................................You’re MINE

I said… You’re MINE

But That's Jesus

Ok so I just found my old Bible notebook from Heritage and I found this poem that a couple of friends and I made for a project. We had to take a story from the Bible and make a poem about it. It doesn't make much sense, especially the last verse (I have no idea what I was even talking about), but it's pretty funny. Just thought you might enjoy it.

BUT THAT'S JESUS

There once was a man named Joe
He was in his tent with nowhere to go
Then he saw a man
That was very tan
Named Jesus

Jesus where are you going?
I thought you were all-knowing
Today's Sabbath day
So you can't go to play
Said Joe to Jesus

I'm going to a cave
To save the lepers from the grave
I'm going up to Galilee
Would you like to come with me?
Said Jesus

I can't go with you today
For today is the Sabbath day
I've only got five steps left, ya know
So then I just cannot go
Jesus

Okay you can stay
But I'm going away
So see you later
Alligator
Said Jesus

So Mark Peter the Zealot went too
Though Martha the scribe was blue
And to me Jesus was cool
Although he was breaking the rule
But that's Jesus

Prayer

Today was See You At The Pole for schools all over America. Last year, at my school, we had SYATP, but I was almost disappointed by how it ended up. It was led mainly by adults, and there were only about 5-10 people there from what I remember. Today, we started at 8:30 and I got there about right on time. Honestly, I was expecting a couple of kids to come, and the adults would do everything again. I wasn't expecting the next thing I saw. I stood there at the flagpole as I saw students begin pouring out of the school doors, ready for SYATP. It wasn't close to our whole school, or even half of our school, but the fact that so many kids (probably 30 or so) were willing to get up early on their late-start day (we don't start school on Wednesdays until 9:00) and pray with others in the front of our school, where everyone can see them, is awesome to me. This definitely showed me how God is using me and others at my school to shine God's light and make a serious impact. I understand that some of these kids might have just been coming for the doughnuts and drinks, but the impact was still there.

A verse came to my head then when I saw the people coming out and when I heard people unashamed to pray earnestly in front of their classmates.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Matthew 18:20

This verse really hit me when I saw everyone there and heard their earnest prayers for our school and the people in it. There were definitely more than just two or three people there, and Christ says that even if it's just a couple of people, He is still right there in the middle of it.

My prayer for our school is simple. I pray that people would realize the need for Christ in their life and would live out a life that serves Christ and only Christ. I pray for revival in our school and for a renewed sense of passion for our calling as children of God. I pray continually for wisdom for the staff and for their example to be like Christ's example. Finally, I pray that I may be continually growing in God's will for my life and for my outreach towards others.

It's pretty simple, but I believe God likes the simple. He's not going to give us tasks that are too hard for us to do. And, as I have learned lately, He's not going to give us desires that He cannot or will not fulfill. God is faithful always.

My Newest Revelation

So, my last long trip of the summer has ended. The first week of August (last week) some of our Co-Motion kids (our youth ministry team) had the chance to go to the National Fine Arts Competition and the National Youth Convention in Orlando, Florida. While we were there, we performed in a variety of different categories of ministry and had the chance to go to the youth services every night, which were amazing! During all of this time, God was speaking to me, as I think should happen every day. But during our "fun day," when we went to the beach, God revealed something really awesome to me.



I was on my way to walk into the ocean where the other youth were, when I saw that someone from our group had written JAG (our church name) in the sand. For some reason, this is what God used to show me that we are just a small part of a much bigger picture. Those letters that represented our church would be in the sand for a little while, and other people might see it, might even wonder about it and ask questions, but it would not be there forever. I'm sure it didn't even remain there for the rest of the day. And it wasn't nearly as big as the rest of the beach. There was so much more sand, and there was so much of the beach that our church name didn't cover. It wasn't even considerable when I looked at it in comparison to the rest of the beach and the seemingly unending ocean. But it was there.



Our church, as just our own building and people in Meriden, Kansas, won't always be here. People might go to JAG for Christian fellowship and worship, we might have all kinds of ministries at our church, and people might notice us and be able to see a difference. But our church will not be here forever. And our church isn't nearly as big as the world. Compared to all the people around the world, it isn't even big enough to consider. But it's here.



And although we shouldn't be a big enough part of this world to even be thought about, we have something big enough to share and big enough to be heard by everyone on this earth: we have the love of Christ, the One who has saved us from the most certain death, and the One who will save us from any danger. Although our church will perish, THE church will never end. Although our groups and ministries will end, and although our work on this earth will be finished, we will not be simply depleted value. We will be the one true God's beloved children, who will be able to worship him forever and ever.

A different way of thinking

So a few months ago, I read one of the books that Rachel Joy Scott's parents, Darrell Scott and Beth Nimmo, wrote after her death in the Columbine shootings. The book I read, Rachel's Tears, shared stories from Rachel's parents, as well as some of Rachel's journal entries from various journals and scraps of paper that she had in her room and her backpack. One part of this book really struck me as cool. This is something Rachel and her dad shared frequently apparently.

"One of Rachel’s favorite bible studies that we did together was about the difference between the seed and the sod. I had helped her to understand that we were made from dirt and our bodies will return to dirt. However, that dirt is the planting ground for an eternal seed. Farmers don’t look for clean dirt when they plant seeds. They don’t vacuum all the dirt out of the garden so the seeds won’t get dirty. They need the dirt for the seed to grow. In fact, sometimes the dirt isn’t dirty enough, so they spread cow manure over the dirt to make it dirtier! They call this rich soil.

"When we focus our eyes on “self,” we’re looking at the dirt. When we focus on the seed growing in the dirt, we produce fruit! It is so important to understand that the Christian walk is not me becoming perfect; it’s Christ growing to perfection in me. There are two verses that sound contradictory in the bible, and yet they form a complete truth: “I can of mine own self do nothing,” and “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Rachel knew the difference between the seed and the sod. She knew that once the seed began to grow, people would no longer look at the dirt, but instead focus on the emerging fruit of that seed. She knew she wasn’t perfect. But she realized that god was doing some wonderful things within her."

These are things that I never thought about when I read things like the parable of the sower and the seed. It's a very good example of looking at more than just the surface of the parables and their meanings. I am continually amazed at the depths of God in every way, and how I can always learn things and think about things in a way that I've never thought about before. I love how God gives us all different spiritual insights and ways of thinking so that we can share those with others to help them.

But enough rambling, I just thought others might enjoy that as well. :)